Controlling the narrative

I’ve been working with lots of different ppl re: business and careers. I notice that a lot of people don’t want to bring up hard topics during business meetings or during interviews.

For example, I noticed that during a business meeting/negotiation, a guy I was working with didn’t want to bring up the price of our offering. He wanted to send them an email message AFTER the call. (I’m not 100% certain but I suspect the reason he wanted to do this was to save face, not get rejected over the call. Think of it from a dating perspective. It’s much easier for one to invite out another partner on a date over text than it is to do it in person).

I had another buddy who was doing job interviews in a new industry for him. He was especially worried because he doesn’t have direct experience in the space he was interviewing for. He has done work on his own in this space but no official experience. He was nervous during the interview process and, understandably, wanted the job, so he didn’t bring up his lack of direct experience during the interview. And he ended up not getting the job due to his lack of experience.


In both cases, you want to strive to control the narrative.

In the case of price negotiation, if you don't tell them the price over the phone, you leave it to them.

You want to point out the elephant in the room

If you don't you end up leaving it up to them to "create the story" around whatever.

Furthermore, I think ~70% of communication is non-verbal. So you're missing valuable feedback opportunities for you. You want to see how they react to whatever it is you ______ bc then you can further work to position yourself.


Written: October 4, 2020 (half written)

Additional resources:

  • now that I think about this, it reminds me of "Accusations Audit" from Chris Voss
    • what are all the bad things that the other person is thinking. then just go and point them out; get in front of all the things they are thinking. #GettingAheadOfNegatives